Our new home is not on earth!

It has been my dream to have my very own new kitchen but we’ve decided not to renovate it after all!

And I thank God that he’s given me the strength and peace to do that without a heavy grudging heart. In fact, it was I who suggested it to Graham that we could save a lot that way and meet our budget.

And it is the word of God which has prepared me well for this moment. In the previous renovation post, what Christ has accomplished on the cross was my focus. Today, it is what Christ is coming to accomplish that I want to highlight.

Titus 2:11-14 says:

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

While hankering over a new kitchen, I struggled between satisfying my own desire and seeking God first. There is nothing wrong with new cabinets but I refuse to be ruled by my desire for them! The kitchen cabinet will not be my god.

This passage assures me that the grace of God trains me to say no to my idols, and to say yes to God. The amazing part is how it achieves that… by pointing me forward to the second coming of Jesus Christ, our blessed hope, the glorious one, our Savior!

When I keep my heart and eyes on the new heavens and new earth that is to come, it is no surprise that a new kitchen is quickly beaten down into second place. The delight and joy of being continually in God’s presence is going to be infinitely better than anything I will ever experience now!

So new kitchen or not, I thank God for everything, especially that he’s given me a glimpse of eternity once again. It’s all too easy to forget. Friends, shall we never fail to remind each other of our heavenly home while we are here together!

the gospel and home renovation – but, of course!

It’s exciting to set up a new home but it is also potentially a time of great stress.

The thing that bothers me the most is how should I make good use of the money we have? Am I wrong to want a brand new kitchen? Am I running after the things of this world if I decide to get new flooring? Why can’t I live with that ugly tiled wall in the living room? Am I being a good steward of God’s money?

You may say, “Hey those are good concerns, aren’t they?” but aha! my error is more subtle than most.

I go to God in prayer and supplication and I wonder why I don’t get peace; I ask for God’s wisdom and help and I still stress over making the wrong decisions; I eagerly desire to seek God’s kingdom first and I’m worried that it’s just not enough.

I didn’t even notice that there was something very very wrong with this picture for a long time! It isn’t just the renovations; there were already signs of it at other times. Usually it involves a great deal of money and a lot of suspicion about myself. Or so I thought; actually I was suspecting GOD himself.

I suspect that God wouldn’t really help me, that he isn’t really a gracious and loving Father, someone who listens to his children, helps them, and disciplines yet forgives them — in short, I suspect that the Gospel isn’t really true.

Did Jesus die for my sin? Does God entirely forgive me? Is Jesus’ death enough to pay my debt? Does God promise to be my Father? Is Jesus really alive and reigning? Did God give me the Holy Spirit?

And the answer  to all of them (when I reminded myself) is a big resounding YES!

My place in his kingdom is not dependent on my decision-making prowess. There is no reason for me to live in fear and doubt at all when God is on my side! This just shows that we can never repeat the gospel and its promises to ourselves too much.

Pride never seemed more ridiculous than this…

Have you ever wanted to be an all-wise, all-knowing, all-intuitive sage who could always immediately pinpoint the problem with someone’s spiritual life? With your Holy Spirit-led instincts, you would present and explain in measured tones the solution to the grateful seeker who extols your brilliant Enlightenment. To his effusive thanksgiving, you would then smile benevolently and demur, “It was all from God. Praise the Lord!”

Have you?

I have!

Well, the idea did not sound so ridiculous at first.

All I wanted to do was help a friend get out of her spiritual rut. I wanted to give a solution to her problem… now what exactly is her problem again?

I don’t know!

So I made one up, one purely based on what I can see, what I can guess, what I can… solve. Because what would I do with a problem I can’t solve?

Now this creates two problems right away.

1. Instead of  actively listening to my friend and finding out how is she struggling, I would be actively seeking to impose my suggestion on her. That’s unhelpful and really rude. She would be confused, if not terribly upset.
2. I’m pretending I’m not really a fallible and imperfect human being who can’t read people’s minds and put a finger on their destiny. If God doesn’t expect me to be a guru, why should I? I’m getting stressed over nothing.

If this was just a delusion I’m suffering from, it would be good enough for God to snap me right out of it. But God being God and me being me, he showed me that it was not merely mistaken beliefs but my sinful pride which was setting up my foolish delusion.

I was elevating myself over my friend, I was elevating myself over who I really am, and mostly — I was elevating myself over God himself!

Paul’s wise counsel in Romans 12.3 came to my mind:

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

It was a sobering lesson yet I had a good laugh at myself too. It’s better that the joke’s on my expense than to lord over a friend!

The most startling thought came to mind this morning…

If it’s not of God, even the most quiet undisturbed life is cursed.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11

O how do I not love God? Let me count the ways…

This week I realise I love myself a lot. I love myself so much I love me more than I love God. How do I know that?

I’m reluctant to speak to a friend who could be doing something ungodly because I care more about my convenience than about God’s glory.

When I teach, I’m often more pleased with them listening to me, than with them listening to God’s word.

When I discuss plans with people, I’m more eager to be understood than I am to go and understand.

And worst of all, for every known way that I love myself above God, there are a hundred other ways that are hidden and undetected.

Why would I love myself, someone so worthless and why don’t I love God, someone so worthy, I asked myself.

Perhaps it’s because I’m deceived that the more I love myself, the more I gain out of life.

The more I avoid conflicts, the happier I would be. The more people listen to me, the more they might respect me. The more I’m understood, the more people can give me what I want.

And I’m right, I could gain all these. It’s highly possible I would be happier, respected, and satisfied – except that all that I gain is good only for this life, and not for eternity.

Jesus says in Matthew 5:5, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” O God, I cry out for you to help my spiritual bankruptcy.

Father I want to love you more. I want to be more like Jesus. He loved you more than he loved himself. He loved you so much he was willing to die on the cross to obey you. Holy Spirit come and make me more like Jesus. I want to love me less and love God more. In the precious name of Jesus I pray, amen.

let’s sing an old hymn

Tell out, my soul, the greatness of the Lord!
Unnumbered blessings give my spirit voice;
tender to me the promise of his word;
in God my Savior shall my heart rejoice.

Tell out, my soul, the greatness of his Name!
Make known his might, the deeds his arm has done;
his mercy sure, from age to age to same;
his holy Name–the Lord, the Mighty One.

Tell out, my soul, the greatness of his might!
Powers and dominions lay their glory by.
Proud hearts and stubborn wills are put to flight,
the hungry fed, the humble lifted high.

Tell out, my soul, the glories of his word!
Firm is his promise, and his mercy sure.
Tell out, my soul, the greatness of the Lord
to children’s children and for evermore!

Is Jesus the King of my heart?

If my answer is yes, then it must make a difference in the way I live my life, including the way I respond when a wedding dress is damaged by the dry cleaner.

And so this was the struggle I faced this week. It wasn’t primarily the heartache over a few hundred dollars, or the frustration with the dry cleaners who has yet taken responsibility – though those were tough too. It is ultimately an issue to do with my heart – what do I  treasure most?

Let me read you my paraphrase of Matthew 6.19-21:

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where dry cleaners destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

That I was bothered and distracted is indication that I treasured the dress more than I treasured Christ. I had trusted in the dress to make my life right – if only the dress wasn’t ruined, my life would be happier!

Instead I should be trusting in Jesus through whom I have received the best bundle of blessings one could ever imagine and depending on him for joy in my life.

Each time I thought I was over the dress, a sense of disappointment and injustice would overcome me again. I had to repent daily and God spoke faithfully from his Word in Proverbs 3:5-6, Matthew 6:25-34 and Philippians 3:7-11.

Regardless of the dry cleaner’s response, I want to be able to say at the end of it all: I forgive the dry cleaners because Christ has forgiven me much more!

God wants us to keep our leaders joyful

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you. – Hebrews 13:17

When I first read this verse, I knew it was a keeper. Because like a good friend, it says what I need to hear, and not what I want to hear.

Sometimes I may not feel that my leaders are doing a good job of “keeping watch over my soul”, but make no mistake, God will surely demand an account from them. My part is to submit willingly to them so that they can lead with joy and not groaning!

In particular, this is a challenge for me as I return to serve in the youth ministry at my church. Submission to my youth pastor must come first instead of seeking what I think is best for the youths, often without much love and consideration for him.

I simply cannot build up the youths at the cost of obedience to what is plainly written in God’s Holy Scriptures. The ends does not justify my means! Strangely, I have a feeling that obeying this verse alone will result in a more fruitful time for everyone.

Marriage is good because God is good

I’m a bit shame-faced that I’m not quite the effusive new bride that some people hope I will be. At least it would make the conversation more bearable when they ask, “How’s married life?” Especially when they greet me with a really loud, “Hello Mrs CHOO!”, I turn around and I’m thinking, Err who are you? while giving them my best smile.

At least I could regale them with stories of how exciting the honeymoon was, how wonderful my husband is, how good the food I am eating daily at our aunty’s place, how sexy my new Kenwood mixer is. Instead I just say “oh it’s ok” (because it really is!) or a “well, it feels the same” (because it really does!).

But these tales would not give you a good idea of what marriage is like. In any case, most people wouldn’t count our honeymoon exciting (we played badminton and chess mainly), my husband isn’t always wonderful (me neither), I eat way too much over here (I’m not complaining, just saying…) and the mixer is just a machine, tis all. So what gives? How is married life, really?

Well, marriage is, indeed, good. It is good because God is good. God made marriage and calls it very good (Genesis 1:31). Depending on the time or day you ask me, I might give a different take on married life ( ) but this truth doesn’t change. Marriage is good because God is good.

God calls marriage very good because he instituted it to fulfill his purposes. He created wives as helpers to their husbands, and husbands as loving leaders for their wives. I find that when I am willing to align myself with God’s purposes, that’s when I enjoy my marriage the most.

Without this understanding, a person might take a “very good” answer from me to mean there are no difficulties in marriage life at all, and that’s not real. On the other hand, I don’t wish to discourage others from marriage by telling them how hard it can be. Worst of all, I do not want to pressure the singles into thinking marriage is the ultimate source of fulfillment. This statement is true too – Singleness is good because God is good!

So the next time you ask, “How’s married life?”, remember you are asking a very profound question! May my answer to your question speak of the glories of God. (Just don’t catch me on a bad day.)

God has no makeshift plans!

It would have been perfect if we bought the first flat we saw and loved in March and if flat prices didn’t rise so drastically shortly after we started looking for a second place. Then, it would have been perfect if we could get it all done up by the time we were wedded and move right in.

But no, we didn’t qualify for a subsidy then and couldn’t afford the flat. We even forfeited some money for the deposit! Later on, we paid a good sum of money more for a flat with lesser space. And no, we can only get the keys to the flat in February. So we are staying temporarily at an aunt’s place.

But there are no makeshift plans in God’s sovereignty, and what a blessing this has turned out to be!

I’ve learned that I am able to say goodbye to a dream home and cold hard cash without feeling the least bit sorry for myself — I didn’t know my faith could enable me to make that choice to rejoice because I’m rich in Christ.

I am blessed by my husband’s attitude towards money — he doesn’t hoard, he always gives. And now I’m blessed by his aunty who is showing me what hospitality looks like — she hosted new Christians for dinner on Christmas eve who she thinks wouldn’t be invited anywhere else.

I feel like I’m more ready now to be a homeowner and to live in it to God’s glory!